Anonymous said: One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?

flammi-flames:

danofthetubes:

rats-in-the-walls:

deadinmagazines:

stripperina:

Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.

image

Oh snap

BOOOOM

#tell your dad I said thanks for funding my lifestyle

GOD DAMMMNNNNNNNN

http://likegif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/oh-snap-gif-3.gif


kuogayku:

intentionallyhomosexual:

hawk-and-handsaw:

It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached. 

How was this accomplished you ask?
Well its simple
Dogs are colorblind

image

(via rosekun)

krisbuscus:

bandsdidyoumeanlife:

bandsdidyoumeanlife:

If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.

STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION

I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE

(via breakingstride)

plightofthevalkyries:

Do you ever write a line that just makes you sit back for a second and go

hot damn

I wrote that

that line is so good

if I was a famous writer hipsters would probably get that tattooed on their biceps, that line’s so good

(via it-is-a-sin-to-kill-a-mockingjay)

  • society: oh you have your period? well you have two options.
  • woman: okay.
  • society: you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.
  • woman: sounds awful. what's my second option.
  • society: a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.
  • woman: still seems pretty awful.
  • society: wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!
  • woman: well, are they at least free? like how men can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.
  • society: HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.
  • woman:
  • society: oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.
  • woman:
  • society:
  • woman: i think i'll go with my third option.
  • society:
  • woman:
  • society: what third option?
  • woman: i think i'll bleed on everything you love.

fishgrl0:

pomfette:

date a boy who thinks all your jokes are funny and is slightly afraid youre going to snap his neck unprovoked

I’m pretty sure this is how Clint feels about Natasha

(via it-is-a-sin-to-kill-a-mockingjay)

mugglebornheadcanon:

555. Muggleborns who love playing instruments create their own marching band. Purebloods get lessons to play muggle instruments. It becomes a huge deal and a new addition is made to the castle to accommodate practices. They now play during Quidditch half times and are in the middle of creating an International Wizard Drum Corps Invitational Competition. Some students even create their own muggle/wizard-hybrid rockbands and tour with Wizard bands.

(Source: emlestrange, via zonkos-jokeshop)

majorkimblee:

i love how no one messes with avatar the last airbender. there are people who are like, wow you watch doctor who? fucking nerd. you watch anime? gosh you’re such a weirdo. you watch avatar the last airbender? oh man you know that’s pretty cool so um what kind of bender would you be omg isn’t toph badass and don’t get me started on appa

(via running-from-the-noise)